Losing a family member or close friend is hard. Knowing they are a Christian and destined for Heaven should be a real blessing. But it is still hard and devastating. That person was in your life, you could see them, touch them, see them smile and laugh. That takes a lot of time to deal with. And you never forget the love you shared. All they ment to you.

Last March I lost my three year old grandson to a horrible disease called ‘Tay-Sachs’. He was born a beautiful happy baby boy with no sign of problems. Around his first Birthday he started showing signs of diminished activity. He never learned to crawl, walk or other things for his age. My daughter took him to be tested and we learned the dreadful news that he had this disease and would barely make it to four years old.

This is a very debilitating disease and very few have it. The parents are both carriers and what are the odds of that. But it happened. God made him just the way he was for a reason we will never know. He touched our lives so greatly. He was the happiest, loving baby. He barely learned to say mama but he showed love in his special way.

My daughter quit her job to be with him always. He was such a joy. But he had many problems. Not being able to move, or stretch without help. He was unable to regulate his temperature and had fans and cooling cloths to help keep him cool. His lungs soon began filling with fluid and had to be suctioned out. She was not only mom but his caregiver. She learned to do many things at one time. Having an older brother who loved him and would help out as much as he could helped but it was still mom who did everything. Her husband helped a lot and they did so much as a family. They were determined to give him the best life possible. To show him so much of our country. Let him taste and see all he could in just four years. My daughter never wanted to be away from him.

Then came that awful day, my daughter picked up her older son from school and took him to the lake with grandpa for some quality one-on-one time. Dad got to stay with him while his therapist worked with him. He loved being alone with him but mom was always there. It was going real well until he had a seizure. Then he was gone. One minute thriving the next Jesus took him home. It was such a shock to everyone.

I had to be strong for my daughter. He was with Jesus, with a whole body running around heaven with all his Tay-Sachs friends that had died before him. He was just where he needed to be.
But there was a whole. I tried to be strong and show all the reasons to be glad for him. We had a lovely funeral and memorial. Time moved on and Jesus filled us with peace, but thinking of him still brought tears. My kids got real involved in raising funds for Tay-Sachs research. They are so close to a cure.

While I was at camp this last week a good friend of mine read a poem about her disabled son who had died one year earlier. It was all about her beautiful baby boy that was born deformed and mentally disabled. He meant everything to her and they shared many special times. He loved to be at camp too. All of a sudden I broke. The poem reminded me of my grandson. I began to cry uncontrollably. People all around me were holding me tightly. I didn’t even know some of them. We are all brothers and sisters though.

I will never stop missing him and little things remind me of him. Like sunflowers, we gave sunflower seeds to all at his memorial in memory of him. Now. When I see a sunflower I can think of his smile. I love you Brennan!