Losing Someone Dear

Losing a family member or close friend is hard. Knowing they are a Christian and destined for Heaven should be a real blessing. But it is still hard and devastating. That person was in your life, you could see them, touch them, see them smile and laugh. That takes a lot of time to deal with. And you never forget the love you shared. All they ment to you.

Last March I lost my three year old grandson to a horrible disease called ‘Tay-Sachs’. He was born a beautiful happy baby boy with no sign of problems. Around his first Birthday he started showing signs of diminished activity. He never learned to crawl, walk or other things for his age. My daughter took him to be tested and we learned the dreadful news that he had this disease and would barely make it to four years old.

This is a very debilitating disease and very few have it. The parents are both carriers and what are the odds of that. But it happened. God made him just the way he was for a reason we will never know. He touched our lives so greatly. He was the happiest, loving baby. He barely learned to say mama but he showed love in his special way.

My daughter quit her job to be with him always. He was such a joy. But he had many problems. Not being able to move, or stretch without help. He was unable to regulate his temperature and had fans and cooling cloths to help keep him cool. His lungs soon began filling with fluid and had to be suctioned out. She was not only mom but his caregiver. She learned to do many things at one time. Having an older brother who loved him and would help out as much as he could helped but it was still mom who did everything. Her husband helped a lot and they did so much as a family. They were determined to give him the best life possible. To show him so much of our country. Let him taste and see all he could in just four years. My daughter never wanted to be away from him.

Then came that awful day, my daughter picked up her older son from school and took him to the lake with grandpa for some quality one-on-one time. Dad got to stay with him while his therapist worked with him. He loved being alone with him but mom was always there. It was going real well until he had a seizure. Then he was gone. One minute thriving the next Jesus took him home. It was such a shock to everyone.

I had to be strong for my daughter. He was with Jesus, with a whole body running around heaven with all his Tay-Sachs friends that had died before him. He was just where he needed to be.
But there was a whole. I tried to be strong and show all the reasons to be glad for him. We had a lovely funeral and memorial. Time moved on and Jesus filled us with peace, but thinking of him still brought tears. My kids got real involved in raising funds for Tay-Sachs research. They are so close to a cure.

While I was at camp this last week a good friend of mine read a poem about her disabled son who had died one year earlier. It was all about her beautiful baby boy that was born deformed and mentally disabled. He meant everything to her and they shared many special times. He loved to be at camp too. All of a sudden I broke. The poem reminded me of my grandson. I began to cry uncontrollably. People all around me were holding me tightly. I didn’t even know some of them. We are all brothers and sisters though.

I will never stop missing him and little things remind me of him. Like sunflowers, we gave sunflower seeds to all at his memorial in memory of him. Now. When I see a sunflower I can think of his smile. I love you Brennan!

He Knows Your Name

I just got back from another awesome week at the Young Life camp at Lost Canyon with my church. This a camp for people with all kinds of disabilities. Some are in wheelchairs with a wide range of handicaps. There are also those with intellectual disabilities who seem perfectly fine but suffer from some sort of brain difficulty. These are wonderful people from fifteen to eighty years old looking to experience new and exciting activities and more time with God. It is a lovely camp with everything you could dream of.  

The camp is more like a resort with lots of rooms apartment style that sleep up to fourteen people per room either male or female. So when you get there you may or may not know your roommates. There is a caregiver that is assigned to you for everything you need for the whole week. They are with you throughout the week.

They take care of all your physical and emotional needs while at camp.
There is a pool and hot tub they also have two awesome super slides to enjoy, whether you walk or not, you can enjoy them. There is a room full of pool tables, a snack bar, coffee shop, store for souvenirs, a gymnasium full of fun, basketball, frisbee, and beautifully landscaped grounds with grass, trees, streams, plants, and even a lake.

At the lake they have a zip line from up the mountain down to the lake. More slides and a huge blob to jump on. Everything is handicap assessable for everyone to enjoy.

A few days into the week God showed me that I was judging people. Something I never would have done intentionally but I was seeing these people with my imperfect eyes. If they weren’t just like me or acting just like I thought they should, I wasn’t trying to get to know them. They might have been older or younger, dressed different, walked different, had tattoos or piercings, were heavier than me, acted different than I.

God has made so many people that are all just perfect in his eyes. He loves them so very much and has wonderful plans for their lives. I don’t know all they have gone through in their lives or the pain they live with every day. Sure we all have disabilities whether you can see them or not. We are all made differently. That’s what’s so great about our world. God knows just why he made you how you are. Everyone has a purpose. He knows exactly what He is doing in each life. God never makes anyone wrong. We are all perfect.

Oh I wish I had glasses that I could put on to help me see everyone through His eyes. When I get to know their story I fall in love with the person and am so glad for a new friend. We sang a great song that says it all.

          I have a maker

          He formed my heart

          Before even time began

          My life was in his hand
          He knows my name

          He knows my every thought

          He sees each tear that falls

          And hears me when I call.

There is more but that just blessed me. He made every one of us just how we are with all our little quirks. We are his craftsmanship made to his design specs. We are perfect! From now on I am going to try to see people through his eyes and get to know them. One can always use new friends.

What is Fear

“Fear the Lord your God and serve Him.” Deuteronomy 10:20. NIV
The only thing we should fear is the Lord our God. Fear and respect.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Philippians 4:6. NIV
God wants us to trust Him.
Fear is a lack of trust in God. If we trust Him completely we will understand that He is always in control. Our lives are not left up to chance. He orchestrates every detail of our lives for our good. He promises that in His word. If you have read very much of His word you know His character. He never lies. He always does what he says. With God all things are possible. So trudge forward and dream big. Ask God for what He wants to do in your life. Ask Him what you can do for Him. You will be amazed to find out all He thinks you can do. God has more faith in you than you do. He knows just how great your life can be if you just seek Him. So live big. Realize God always has your back.
“You need not fear when destruction comes.” Job 5:21. NIV
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; i will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10. NIV
We are not to be afraid of God, some I have known misunderstand what the fear of God means. We aren’t afraid of God but highly respect and esteem him. He is the wisest most awesome and loving EVER. He is so awesome, omnipotent, omnipresent. Nothing is impossible with God.
What is the worst fear you have? If it’s death, just realize where you will be when you open your eyes. If you do trust in God and believe in his son Jesus Christ you will open your eyes to the most perfect place ever. No pain, no tears, completely perfect.
Maybe you fear pain of a tragic accident. That was a big fear of mine prior to my stroke. It was a very serious stroke but I was in and out for most of it. When I came to I was surprised but knew God could handle it so why should I worry, just relax. I knew he would give me the strength I needed day to day and He did.

It’s not like God is ever surprised about how our life pans out.  He doesn’t say: ‘Gee I didn’t known that would happen.’  He knows every minute of our life before we were ever born.  He doesn’t make mistakes. He knows the exact minute you will die.  You can not die till it’s time.  Nothing you do can change that it is predestined. Everyone dies at the moment He has planned for us to die, not before. So trust Him.

Having A Great Day

Having a really great day full of joy and success. Accomplishing great things for the Lord. Controlling your tongue and mind. These are all things we desire but they don’t just happen. We all are imperfect people doing our best. We all have the same twenty four hours to work with. It takes real persistence and focus to make it spectacular.
It starts before we ever get up. The first thoughts in my head. Positive or negative thoughts can make a drastic difference in how the day plays out. Let’s leave yesterday behind, it’s gone anyway. Today is a great day to have a great day. God has given you a brand new day to spend with Him. Give the day over to Him from the beginning. He has already planned this day out for you and He knows how it will go. Good or bad is for your best. He’s got your back.
Starting the day talking to God is an awesome way to begin. This is the day the Lord has made and I will choose to be glad and rejoice in it. I personally always start with the Lord’s Prayer. Saying it helps me focus on Him and how awesome He is. It’s all about Him and not me anyway. I want the best day He has for me and I need His help.
My Father who art in heaven…. think of Him ruling and reigning from His throne, in all His glory.

Hallowed be your name… think how powerful and mighty he is

Your kingdom come your will be done on earth as it is in heaven… think how everything he wants can happen in heaven, we should want that for our lives here on earth. Full and abundant lives.

Give me this day my daily bread… He knows just what I need and wants that for me.

And forgive me my debts as I forgive my debtors…. do you have bad feelings for anyone? Let them go. Start with a clean slate. Look on everyone with Christ’s eyes full of love and compassion.

Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil…. give me wisdom and help me see the enemy coming and help me resist.

These are all things He wishes to give me. I spend time talking with Him about everything of importance to me. Thanking Him for all He does for me every day. Just think of all the generations past, present and future He is involved with.
Talk to Him ask Him to help you. What things do you need to accomplish this day. He always puts things in my head. Today is a present to be unwrapped together.
The first real task of my day is always to spend time in His word. It really isn’t the amount of time or how much we read. It’s focusing on what He has to say and applying it to our lives. We need to do the right thing on purpose even if we don’t really want to. God will enable us to do His will. It will help us be happier better people.
I then feel free to do what I choose to. Keeping in mind all the things that I really need to get done and making sure I have time to get them done. Sometimes it’s better to just get them over with for peace of mind. Throughout the day I am always asking God to help me do things his way all the way.
When the day is done I can slip into bed knowing I have done my best. This helps me to feel good. I always sleep better when I know i’ve done my best.